Let it all out
by RSTUV
Summary: Harry's tantrum at the OOTP Headquarters from Molly Weasley's pov


**Mrs. Weasley**

I heard the sound of the front door open and felt surge of joy, _Harry is here_. I made eye contact with Dumbledore gesturing that I would be right back. I stepped out into the dark hall and quickly crossed to where the group was shivering. _Oh dear Mad eye took the long way_. I told them that the meeting was just beginning and to hurry in. Then pulled flustered, freezing Harry into a hug. I could not see much in the dim of the hall but from the hug I was alarmed to find that he was even thinner then normal.

"'Oh, Harry, it's lovely to see you!" I said before pulling back to begin ushering him toward the stairs.

He was watching toward the door where the others were heading into the meeting. I watched as Harry's emotions flitted across his face. His eyes glued to the open door as I herded him upstairs and the door began to shut again. First, a look of curiosity, before he could ask I answered

"No, Harry, the meeting's only for members of the Order. Ron and Hermione are upstairs, you can wait with them until the meeting is over, then we'll have dinner."

At my words and as the door began to close behind them, realization flashed across his face, quickly wiped away by, a look of rage, cool and calculating rage. It seemed so out of place on his face. Even that was masked so fast that I almost did not see it. The the door snapped shut. I shivered and quickly I showed him his floor.

"You're the door on the right. I'll call you when it's over." I urged, shaking off my apprehensiveness. When he at last took the step onto the landing, I took a calming breath and headed back into the meeting. I tried to push my concern to the back of my brain to refocus on the meeting. However, soon it became obsolete as we were interrupted a few minutes in.

The room may have been warded personally by Dumbledore to prevent the children from over hearing us, but it most certainly did not stop sound from coming in. I was shocked, I looked to Dumbledore who was staring pensively at the ceiling.

"So you haven't been to the meetings, big deal!" _That is Harry's voice. So I was not imagining the rage in his eyes. I suppose he has some right to his anger._ I thought remembering Ron showing me letters full of Harry's questions and concerns. _Unfortunately it is being taken out on his friends, but and as much as I do not approve, Ron and Hermoine are probably best suited to understanding him._

I saw Severus, who was on the other end near Dumbledore of the long mahogany table, raise his wand.

"Let's not listen to Potter's whining " _Harry has gone through more then most of us here and is entitled to a bit of anger_. I thought my own anger growing. Sirius was on his feet fury rising in his expression.

In a few moments, even Sirius's anger, paled in comparison to the rage from above, and was soon drowned out.

"You've still been here, haven't you! You've still been together, me, I've been stuck at the Dursley's for a month! And I've handled more than you two've ever managed and Dumbledore knows it!" Everyone's eyes shot to Dumbledore, many with questions in them. There was no need to ask, as Harry wasn't done.

"Who saved the Sorcerer's stone? Who got rid of Riddle? Who saved both your skins from the dementors? Who had to get past dragons and sphinxes and every other fowl thing last year?" Curiosity was now turning to amazement. Tonks was nudging Alastor and I could have sworn I heard her whisper

"Not bad aye? Madeye? Have you ever taken on a dragon by yourself?" Alastor grunted

I was amazed as well, I had not heard about the dementors, _So this was not the first time he has seen them._

Sirius was leaning over to talk to Dumbledore, from the look on their faces he was arguing for Harry coming to live with him. He had been prodding Dumbledore since Harry had gotten off the train to let him come. It was one of the few things that Harry's Godfather and I agreed on. _Not here of course, Harry should not be living with Sirius in this horrid house._ Dumbledore simply held up a hand, it did not look Sirius was going to listen. His face was turning red with anger again. In the seat next to Sirius, Remus put a hand on his friend's shoulder. All eyes were on Dumbledore. But Dumbledore and Sirius were just staring at each other. Harry had started up again.

"But why should I know what's going on? Why should anyone bother to tell me what's been happening."

Then to my and probably everyone's utter amazement a look of understanding crossed Sirius's face and he slowly fell back to his chair. I knew that Sirius was not very understanding when it came to Harry spending time at the Dursley's. I too felt that it did more harm then whatever possible good it was doing. Dumbledore and Sirius seemed to be having a silent conversation. _Sirius seems almost desperate_ , I mused. _He knows something_. _He and Dumbledore know something that the rest of us don't. Or at least I don't. It has something to do with Harry being kept out of Grimmauld Place... What could it possible be? Why haven't they told the rest of us. If it has something to do with Harry's safety I want to know._ I glanced around to see what the others thought, and my gaze caught on Severus, who looked, to my surprise, also slightly uncertain about the Dumbledore and Sirius's conversation. _So Severus is not in on it either._

Upstairs, someone must have tried to calm because there was a brief pause in the yelling before,

"Can't have wanted to that much can you, or you'd have sent me an owl! But Dumbledore made you swear" This rant seemed very out of character of what I had seen of Harry he had always been a rather private person. He would never talk about Dumbledore in this way. What had happened that has made him so aggressive, and mocking. I looked to my left at Arthur, who looked just as shocked at Harry's tone towards Dumbledore. The tension in the room was suffocating as the members sat and watched Dumbledore calmly contemplate Harry's anger at him in a way similar to a student determining which ingredients are need to create a certain potion. I silently warred between feeling bad for him, when he was trying so hard to keep Harry safe, and feeling that he may have deserved most of Harry's rage. Severus clearly getting annoyed at Harry's tone raised his wand again.

"Please Headmaster, let me silence the room, we do not need to listen to this blatant disrespect any longer." But Dumbledore raised his hand and spoke.

"No Severus, I want to listen." Every one stopped trying to pretend not to hear the shouting and stared, in shock, at Dumbledore who had looked back to Sirius. There was not a trace of guilt on his aged face, only a look of intense focus and patience. _He seems to be waiting_. Someone had interrupted Harry again but Harry plowed on.

Moody murmured from the corner.

"Bloody idiot, first his wand now this lunacy an owl, could be intercepted by dark witches or wizards" after Moody broke the silence Remus put in trying to defend Harry,

"I have never seen Harry lose his temper like this, he has been under a lot of pressure though." Dumbledore and Sirius were now having a soft conversation.

I could only catch the words.

"influencing...connection…needs to be warned" from Sirius and Dumbledore's response " prevent the temptation…you about the dreams"

"Four weeks I have been in Privet Drive, nicking papers out of bins trying to find out what's been going on!"

"I suppose you have been having a real laugh, haven't you, all holed up here together!" There was the lonely boy that I knew lived inside Harry. _I suppose Harry had always been damaged that way. The way that came from being alone for too long_. _The hunger of an orphan._ I thought to myself. I had seen it on his face the first time I had met him in the train station. Tears welled in my eyes I tried to wipe them away with out anyone noticing. But Tonks saw them and looking surprised, she whispered,

"Don't worry Molly, Harry and Ron will make up soon." I shook my head.

"How it must have hurt to be left out of the loop after everything that has happened," I whispered, trying to not draw any attention. However in the silence of the room, it carried to everyone's ear. Sirius' head shot up immediately and I saw that he understood.

 _How it must have hurt to have be shunned by the people he calls his family,_ and this had happened all of Harry's life. Ron had told me about the many times his classmates had blamed him for the troubles at school. Just this last year Ron had stopped talking to Harry. I saw how skinny Harry was when he came in. My sons had told me about the Dursley's. I remembered Arthur telling me that the Dursley's house did not have a single picture of Harry, it was as if Harry did not lived there. _To be left alone with those people all the while waiting for the moment when Voldemort will come and finish him off._ I knew that Harry did not know about the guards. _Alone with the grief of Cedric Diggory's death, rage, guilt, sorrow, pain_. _Hasn't that been the way of it since the beginning though, even after all of this Harry still feels alone._ Looking at Sirius again, I recognized what I feel myself often. Fear for Harry's safety, guilt over failing to protect him and rage at being unable to do anything as family.

When at last upstairs fell silent. Kingsley returned to his report on the standings at the Ministry. Everyone tried to refocus on the meeting, rather then the rage and pain still emanating from the ceiling.

 **When writing this, I thought a lot about how incredible it is that Harry is not more like Riddle. But I wanted to show that there is a part of him that usually only comes out at Privet Drive, that he keeps shoved in a corner that feels great deal of pain and suffering that came at the loss of his parents, at being attached to constantly to Voldemort. Harry is different from his friends, because he has witnessed, in his dreams, and in reality Voldemort. I wanted to show Mrs. Weasley coming face to face with the reality that there are many many things that happen to Harry that nobody can protect him from. She does not know about the dreams but she recognizes that there is a great deal more that has already happened to him that causes him pain that she cannot prevent.**

 **I wanted to show that Sirius, in the book when Harry confides in him, his worry about his similarities to Voldemort, he is one of the only characters that does not show any fear or any doubt about Harry. Sirius more then anyone understands what it is like to be completely alone with your misery.**

 **Finally I wanted to show the connection that we hear about between Dumbledore and Sirius at the end of the books when Dumbledore tells Harry that Sirius had been telling him about Harry's dreams. I wanted to show how uncertain and Dumbledore was about the connection between Harry and Voldemort that his separation from Harry was done out of fear, that is was a contested thing**


End file.
